A Season of Feasting and Mourning

It has almost been a month since my last post and much has happened.  Katherine and Jay Wolf often use the term "house of feasting and mourning" and I think that term aptly describes this season of life.  The events of the last several weeks are so intertwined that I am going to recap in a single post, rather than giving each life event its own post.  God has had his hands in every detail of the last few weeks and this post will serve as a memorial stone for me to remember God's faithfulness, even in a season of mourning.

My warrior dad has been courageously fighting lupus and cancer for many years.  Over the last several months the cancer began to spread more rapidly than before.  Many of you have rallied around our family to provide love, prayers, cards, and support over the years, but especially over the last few weeks.

Beau and I spent the two weeks prior to February 20th hanging out with my parents in Nashville.  Beau and Pipi had lots of fun hanging out together!

Snuggle time on the couch! 

Beau loves looking at pictures on Pipi's phone! 

Friends Forever! 

Mmm...homemade banana pudding!

Delicious! 

Wednesday, February 20: My dad had spinal surgery to remove a cancerous tumor from his spine.  He moved his toes the day after the surgery and quickly moved to an inpatient rehabilitation center.  When he was asked to set goals at rehab, he always told the nurses and physical therapists that his goal was to be in Atlanta on May 8th for Palmer's arrival.

Pipi was getting some attention from his grandsons Alex and Beau after his first surgery.  

After about a month of rehab, dad was ready to be discharged.  He would be living in a wheelchair, but he had successfully mastered his transfers from the wheelchair to another surface.

Popsicle time at rehab! All of the nurses loved to give Beau treats! 

Beau checking out the wheelchair ramp! 

Nana learned how to pop wheelies.  

Only a few days before he was scheduled to come home, he once again lost all movement below the waist and it was discovered that the cancerous tumor had returned.

Dad had a second spinal surgery but unfortunately he was not able to regain movement in his lower body.  Lots of other issues continued to occur and my dad's health declined rapidly.

Friday, April 12: I had my 36 week appointment and everything looked great.  There were no signs of labor or any other concerns.  My dad was scheduled to be moved to hospice, so we made the trip to Nashville that evening.   My last real conversation with my dad was that night.  He told me that I would have start relying on Raleigh now and he told me that we should continue our yearly beach trips.  He was completely alert at this point and we of course told each other we love each other several times.  We were with my dad when he was transferred to the hospice unit of the hospital.  He made the decision to receive hospice care at the hospital, rather than at home, so that my mom would not have those memories at home.  He was putting the needs of others above his own, even at the very end.

Sunday, April 14: I woke up in the middle of the night with hip pain.  I thought I had been sleeping in one position too long, but didn't think much of it.  The pain finally got unbearable and I woke Raleigh up, but I still thought it was hip/back pain.  Later in the morning it began to feel more like contractions.  Raleigh timed them on his phone and they were consistently 3-5 minutes apart.  I called my doctor in Atlanta and the nurse said that I was probably just under a lot of stress and instructed me to drink 3 bottles of water and take a warm bath.  I did both, but the contractions kept coming stronger.  By mid afternoon we decided it was time to go to the hospital and get checked out.  We called my mom's GYN, who is also a OB, and he happened to be on call that day.  Another miracle.

We dropped Beau off at my dad's hospital with my mom and cousin Erica and Raleigh and I headed about a mile down the road to another hospital.  We checked into the "triage" area and they hooked me up to a fetal heartbeat monitor and a contraction monitor.  After a few minutes of that, the nurse checked me and I was 4 cm dilated.  She said I was in active labor and she started the process to get me checked into a labor and delivery room.

Once I was in the labor and delivery room, the nurse that checked me said that I was already 7cm dilated.  Things were moving pretty quickly.  I didn't even have time to change into my fancy hospital gown that I had purchased on etsy. Ha! Since I was already 7cm, I wanted to try and see if I could make it a little longer without the epidural.  Eventually the contractions were so close together that there was no time to breathe between them, so I made Raleigh ask the nurse for the epidural.  About 10 minutes later the anesthesiologist and my doctor walked in at the same time.  My doctor said to wait and let him check me first.  I was already 9cm so he said the epidural would really do no good as it was already time to start pushing.  Well, to make a long story short, at 7:08pm central time, Palmer Cannon Gresham made his debut into the world at 36 weeks.  He was a healthy 6 pounds and 7 ounces and 18.75 inches long.  Praise God for a healthy baby!  My dad was doing his part to fight until the very end, and Palmer did his part by coming a few weeks early.  My dad thought he would be in Atlanta in May for Palmer's birth, but God wrote a different, yet beautiful, grace-filled, bittersweet, story.

Tuesday, April 16:  I celebrated my 30th birthday by being discharged from the hospital with a beautiful baby boy.  We went straight from my hospital to my dad's hospital and Palmer was able to meet my dad.  It was the best birthday gift imaginable.  The moments were precious and my dad just touched and rubbed little Palmer and kissed his forehead.  It was a miraculous hope-filled time for sure. My mom made my dad put on a nice shirt so he would look nice for the pictures.

Wednesday, April 17 & Thursday, April 18: We spent several hours each day at the hospital visiting with my dad.  He would come in and out of being alert, but mostly my dad just slept.

Friday, April 19th: This was the last day I visited with my dad.  He was pretty much completely resting at this point and only roused up a time or two during the day.  One time he "woke up" and the last thing he told me was to go home and get sleep.  Ha! Ha! Like I said before, even at the very end he was thinking of others first.

Saturday, April 20th: I did not visit with my dad this day as I could tell my body needed a bit of rest after labor.  I stayed home with Beau and Palmer and Raleigh and let my body heal a little.

Sunday, April 21st: My dad was welcomed into the arms of Jesus.  He and my mom were alone in the room when he went to be with the Lord and they were listening to their song.  What a beautiful gift for my mom to spend the last moments of dad's life alone with him.

God truly wove the story together in a miraculous way.  Friends and family surrounded us during this time of birth and death, joy and sadness, feasting and mourning, and allowed us to walk the road with grace that can only come from Him.